I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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