I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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