I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
