everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
