Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I am one with the molecules
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
