i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
they're like a gay fantastic four
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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