I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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