My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
