Well douche your snatch and let's go!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
