They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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