I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
