Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
