I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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