Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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