Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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