well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
