How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
