Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Duck Duck Cougar?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well I just put wine in my tea
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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