I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
