Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
