I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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