I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
