I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
