But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
