woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
