Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
