I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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