Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
