I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
