The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize