In the future we'll all be gay
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
