i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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