Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
