are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
