She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's never too late to be topless.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My life is pants optional.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
