so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
