fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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