You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize