Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
