yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
