I wish I could teleport
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
