My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
