so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There r osticjed everywhere
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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