Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
