are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize