i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
