dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
