I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize