I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
