If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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