butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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