I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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