Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
