Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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