So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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