walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
