Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize