This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
