You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
