This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
