You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
