she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
