You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
