So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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