remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
