Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
