I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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