I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
