i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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