she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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