Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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