Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
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