Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
