i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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