Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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