party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
