is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
