I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
