Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
