I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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