okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
