Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
