what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
