So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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