Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
